seeinbytes – Page 7 – Stay up late to read/play this.

Joe Danger Touch Review

Title: Joe Danger Touch
Maker: Hello Games
System: iOS
Cost: Free for iTunes 5th Anniversary (Normally $2.99)

…Wait, what am I supposed to do again?

The first thing I notice about Joe Danger is that the levels are perfectly short. They tapped into the right attention spans for a mobile game. The second thing I notice is that it’s boring. Not as bad as some other iOS games I’ve been playing lately, but boring enough I wonder why this ever became a successful series. Maybe it’s big brother counterparts do a better job of keeping you vested.

It’s not for lack of content. For a mobile game this thing is pretty huge, and trying to get perfect scores will require multiple replays. But that’s the problem, monotonous memorization doesn’t make a game fun. It rarely feels about execution. Instead, you memorize the levels enough to mechanically swipe your way through. There’s a point system here as well, but it’s buried deep. I do hold out the faint hope that digging deep enough into the point system might make a rewarding experience in and of itself (like good ol’ Tony Hawk 2).

The best part of playing Joe Danger is that its micro levels make you wonder why no major publisher has done a Wario Ware ripoff for the iOS. SquareEnix, you need some cash right?

Rating: 2 Stars (Out of 5)

Memory: “Jooooe Danger!”

Peggle Review

Title: Peggle
Maker: Pop Cap
System: iOS
Cost: Free from App Store birthday

A name that’s the equivalent of not brushing your teeth

I knew nothing when i downloaded Peggle, but the first moments when you load the game, and that reassuring popcap logo comes up… ah yes, that’s a good sign. But all the good will from Plants vs Zombies can’t make me care about Peggle. A horribly drawn unicorn greets you, and as you advance through the levels more horribly drawn characters serve as your guide. Where’s the endearing art style? At least you could rest on that. But I can forgive generic graphics if the gameplay is captivating. The Xcom remake was pretty damn good despite it’s forgettable graphics. But this is where peggle stumbles. It’s not just generic, at best you can call it breakout mixed with patchinko, its just plain boring. I would stare at the icon on my phone, alone at an empty bus stop, but even then I could barely make myself open it. For a mobile app this is the kiss of death.

Rating: 1 Star (Out of 5)

Memory: That fucking unicorn

The realization through games that I’m not a completionist

Growing up I always considered myself a completionist. I saw things through, and took each point to it’s natural conclusion. I’m not sure if I was proud of this, but I definitely considered it one of my defining traits. Now, after years of playing video games, I have to admit that at best I’m a “finisher”… which is a far cry from a completionist.

The differentiation became clear in my inability to grind for trophies. No matter how much I tell myself beforehand, rarely do I have that platinum trophy to show for it. Sometimes I will come amazingly close with games I love, like Dark Souls, only to let it drop for a few weeks and then be too far out to ever go back. The current game to hold this is The Last of Us. I continue to plug away at it, but I give only 10:1 odds I ever take it all the way.

Some I never bother with. Metro Last Light had me convinced for a day I was going to go back and play it, but at the end it failed to address that final question: “why bother”? It has nothing to do with the number of endings either. I’ve been lying to myself since 5th grade that I was going to see all of the endings for Chrono Trigger (spare me). For me, the only thing that truly offers longevity is the gameplay. Which is difficult because most games have their gameplay designed around a specific difficulty level, it’s rare that changing this allows the game to main it’s balance. This is the reason Demon’s Souls (and to a slightly lesser extend Dark Souls) are such great games, and why FPS shooters shed fun for the slog as you move up the difficulty ladder. Or, perhaps the problem is worrying about trophies at all. Dragon Warrior 4 (this was back when it was still “Warrior” instead of “Quest”) rocked my world in second grade and I never had to play it again.

**Most of jokes as a kid came from obscure Japanese videogames**

Robot Unicorn Attack 2 Review

Title: Robot Unicorn Attack 2
Maker: Spiritonin Media Games
Publisher: Adult Swim
System: iOS
Cost: Free to Play

Everything Crystal

I still don’t fully understand why Adult Swim is publishing video games. It’s cool, and I get that their target audience crosses over, but whenever I see it I’m always surprised that resources go to game publishing. I remember the previews for the first RUA: neon colors, intentionally ridiculous music, and still I never picked it up. But on a whim I decided to download the sequel. It’s a simple game but they make the smart decision to expand it by allowing you to unlock different play-styles as the game progresses. Graphically, it’s a combination of the minutely beautiful and broad ugliness, which really is very “Adult Swim”. For a free to play its genuinely fun, even if another endless runner is redundant by this point in time.

Rating: 3 Stars (Out of 5)

Memory: The theme song, of course

The First Few Hours – Shin Megami Tensei 4

There would have been a time, not long ago, when I would have been excited about a new Shin Megami game, let alone an entry in the main series. The DS entries, and to a lesser extent Persona 4, have sapped this excitement from me. But here I am, giving it another shot, because Nocturne and Persona 3 remain some of the best experiences I ever had on the PS2 (not to mention the earlier Persona’s)

First Thoughts, First Impressions: The low key neon which somehow helped to emphasize the overall darkness from the early PS2 era Shine Megami titles appears to be completely gone (this started with Persona 3, but is complete now). It’s replaced with 80s camp anime, bright sunlight, and a throw back to early persona games in character portraits. Even the quirky and endearing personalities from persona 3 (and to a lesser extent 4) are missing. Although I will say that the actual dungeon crawling looks amazing and works well.

So how does it play? I’m not sure why, but there is something about the game. Despite what I expected, I was actually very excited to continue playing it yesterday. It’s the beginning though. I put quite a few hours in Strange Journey, but never ended up finishing it, because at a certain point in time you have to choose a very distinct ending. Once you get there, it’s all out of surprises. So I assume I know how 4 will end: 3 bland choices, evil, neutral and good. Although Nocturne avoided this convention, so it could always surprise me.

Abe-Pyon Non-Review

Title: Doodle Ju… I mean, Abe-Pyon
System: iOS
Price: Free

Shinzo Abe, Japanese Prime Minister made famous from his economic policy dubbed “Abenomics” (just type that in the economist.com and a mountain will come out), has an iPhone game. Is it any good? It’s not terribly bad, if that counts?

It plays like Doodle Jump with worse controls, but way more charm because… I guess, just because its a weird piece of Japanese propaganda. It notifies you as you pass the height of Japanese landmarks, and different outfits (?) unlock from play-throughs. If you’d like to give it a try, you can fine it here.

Title Sequence – Deus Ex: Human Revolution

If you ever wondered what the slick disgusting beauty of Chris Cunningham’s All is Full of Love video, mixed with the jaring cuts of grime from a David Fincher opening would look like, I think the Human Revolution title sequence comes close to offering it. These videos have been studied, cut, and flattered through imitation (as they should be) so many times that it’s a given they’re a part of this generation’s artistic development.

It was after seeing the video that I began to become attached to Human Revolution. It’s the best kind of heavy-handed: the melding of man and machine, the struggle of an entire world, encapsulated in Adam as he writhes on the operation table. The person that comes out is cool and collected, but he has to become an abomination and go through hell to get there.

Ridiculous Fishing Review

Title: Ridiculous Fishing – A Tale of Redemption
Maker: Vlambeer
System: iOS
Cost: $2.99

Duck, Weave, and Reverse

The "Ridiculous" part of the title — **The “Ridiculous” part of the title**

I’ve written a little about the clever reversal of objectives that Ridiculous Fishing employs. This alone makes it a solid title. Throw in some charming graphics, a progression system that works (i.e. doesn’t require you to grind – the blight of iOS), and what’s left is a genuine classic. For Vlambeer, it’s a bit like striking gold. It succeeds despite everything against it, and has propelled the company to the mainstream success it deserves (see the term “Vlambeered” to learn a bit more about their difficulties).

It’s a thin game that’s only going to buy you a few hours. But all of it is enjoyable, and non of it is padding, so what else could you want from your phone?

Review: 4 stars (out of 5)

Memory: The ending (there is one)

The Last of Us Review

Title: The Last of Us
Maker: Naughty Dog
Publisher: Sony
System: PS3
Cost: $59

Better than Cormac McCarthy

It’s tough to begin talking about The Last of Us because you have to compare it to something, and the wasteland of humanity has been covered so many times in games. So I’m not going to compare it against other games (that’s a post for another time), because The Last of Us draws it’s inspiration from other media, specifically, The Road for ambiance, and Children of Men for plot. Both excellent in their own right, The Last of Us exceeds them. It’s the best story I’ve ever read, watched, or experienced about the end of civilization.

So let’s jump into it. The graphics are phenomenal and the combat tight. In the ravaged world you run into two distinct enemies, the infected, and other survivors. Both are challenging, and they require completely separate strategies, which helps to vary the combat. But all of these positives pail in comparison to the writing. It’s by miles the best dialogue I’ve ever encountered in a game. You keep expecting some cliche movie (or worse, game) dialogue to slip out, but it never does. It’s so far ahead of anything else, I can’t even think of what would be second. On top of this the voice acting is superb, especially protagonists Joel and Ellie.

About the protagonists, have you ever played a game where you didn’t hate the character that you needed to protect? Of course not, they’re a pain in the ass. Except in this Ellie is phenomenal, and her personal growth drives you forward. Joel is complicated yet simple (in his drive), and both come off as humans, neither good nor bad, in a way that games can almost never provide. My biggest fear is that they churn out a sequel and destroy everything they’ve created here.

Minor things like a few annoying puzzles, and your companions near invisibility to enemies are not enough to break or ruin the experience. This is a game that will be dissected and compared for years, a template for story-driven creations.

Review: 5 stars (out of 5)

Memory: Too many to list

Flight Control Non-Review

Name: Flight Control
System: iOS
Price: Free (iTunes 5th Anniversary)

Maybe if I remember hundreds of people are on each one I will care more... — **Maybe if I remember hundreds of people are on each plane I will care more…**

Played Flight control for 5 minutes before going to bed- Land some planes and dont have them crash. The tension is supposed to build as more aircraft comes on the screen and you play for a high-score. This sort of thing can work (see any number of puzzle games), and maybe there’s a decent game in there, but I’ll never know because it was too boring for me to try again.