Dragon’s Crown Review

Title:  Dragon’s Crown
Maker:   Vanillaware
Publisher: Atlus
Platform: PS Vita

Enjoyable Bursts of  Style Over Substance

There’s was a time half a decade ago when Vanillaware was killing it. It had developed Odin Sphere, which was gorgeous, had great reviews, and sold enough to warrant a “Greatest Hits” rerelease.  But the reality was that while Odin Sphere was gorgeous, there wasn’t much too it. It plays it’s hand early, which makes it a chore to see it through to the end.

Fast forward a few games, 6 years, and we have Dragon’s Crown. It’s graphics also received a tremendous amount of publicity, but more in the NSFW category. The graphical style itself hasn’t changed that much since Odin Sphere, only now every man and woman is hyper sexualized. It’s an odd choice that’s more awkward than sexual (see below for a few of the less cringe worthy examples):
gal Guy
 
So what kind of game is Dragon’s Crown? Here’s the run down:
-Is the story any good? What story?
-Is the battle system improved on Odin Sphere? Memory is fuzzy from that part of my life, but I would say negligible.
-Is the game world more engrossing? Less than their other titles.
-So what does it get right? Three things: On screen mayhem. A quest system that encourages quick play. And gameplay which grows in enjoyment as you learn the system and your character becomes a beast.

In the end, it’s a beautiful game of limited scope.  A single town, few NPC characters, limited differences between classes, and a shortage of levels, all betray that it’s a minor game. But it’s a minor game where you’re going to have more fun the final time you play it than the first.

Review: 3 stars (out of 5)

Gargoyle’s Quest Review

Title:  Gargoyle’s Quest
Maker:   Capcom
Publisher: Armor Games
Platform: Gameboy
Cost: $3.99 (on Nintendo eShop)

AKA, the “Nonexistent Difficulty Curve” 

I’ve wanted to play Gargoyle’s Quest ever since I found the Nintendo power card with Firebrand (Red Arremer if you’re a stickler) on the front of it. Described to me as mix between an RPG and an Adventure game, it seemed to straddle that “Zelda 2” spectrum of early Ninentdo games. And while you do walk around in an overview, and there’s a few command prompts, it’s really an action game through and through.

Not sure why he's Green in this one...
Not sure why he’s Green in this one…
I loved my first gameboy. It was my first videogame system, and I literally played it until it died. But even as a child I knew the controls weren’t the most responsive thing in the world.  There’s a button-input delay, but I didn’t care.  And usually it worked out alright, because most games worked around it. When making Gargoyle’s Quest, they either didn’t realize this or didn’t care.  It requires pin point precision in parts that can be absolutely infuriating.  This means that in classic Ghost & Goblins tradition, the first tower is ridiculously hard.  It wouldn’t surprise me if three quarters of the players dropped right there.
This fucking level
This fucking level
However, despite this early difficulty spike, the game becomes significantly more enjoyable as Red’s abilities start to increase. For example, the hover ability at the beginning is more a hindrance than a help.  However, later on you can float in place and pick off enemies one by one.  Play towards the end gives that same feeling as a powered up Mega Man X with a bunch of E-Tanks in reserve.  In fact, most of the abilities in the game: floating, clinging to walls, power-ups, are prescient of what would become staples in later Capcom classics.

So in the end, alls well that ends well.

Review: 3 stars (out of 5)

Memory:  It’s the only game I can remember that doesn’t provide development credits at the end

Infinity Blade 2 Review

Title:  Infinity Blade 2

Maker:   Chair Entertainment and Epic Games
Platform: iOS
Cost: Free from iOS Anniversary (Normally $6.99)

Faded in the Rinse and Repeat

I had fun playing the first Infinity Blade.  There were a lot of flaws but it wore them on its sleeve.  Repetition was necessary because you’re immortal… ah, clever.  And the controls for battles were simple yet effective, at a time when it seemed like only endless runners had made an effective use of the touch-screen.  Even the story, which was still needlessly complex, worked out ok because it was so understated.  A few lines here or there, odd reveals abound, and you’re left with something that your mind could fill in.

Infinity Blade 2 is none of those things.  Err I take that back, it’s all of those things, which is why it’s disappointing.  It’s the same graphics, the same mechanics, just more of it.  The first games graphics were impressive because of when it was released and the unique art design.  The second is a complete recycle of these.  The dialogue that was enjoyable in small doses becomes schlock in long monologues.  It’s only after people keep talking that you realize how little you care about any of the characters.  If they had kept their mouths shut maybe they could have fooled me.  What is perhaps the most unforgivable is that low-hanging fruit like rebalancing the magic system, and improving the grinding level system, remain bizarrely untouched.

One of the few new environments.  But it comes and goes quickly.
A few new environments. A brief detour as most takes place in the same enlarged castle.

The battles are still fun, if growing tired (again recycled), and the secrets that reveal themselves on multiple play-throughs remains an incredibly fresh mechanic that is executed on a high level.   Murdering giant secret bosses was literally the only thing that kept me coming back after the short story runs to completion.  In the end, it’s a incredibly safe game that’s unable to realize why the first was such a success.

Review: 2 stars (out of 5)

Memory:  Accidentally stumbling on a secret boss early and being decimated in seconds.

Review – Kingdom Rush Frontiers

Title:  Kingdom Rush Frontiers
Maker:   Ironhide Game Studio
Publisher: Armor Games
Platform: iOS
Cost: $1

Probably what freemium should be

At 99 cents, Frontiers technically isn’t a freemium game, but that extra dollar provides so much value over the average shovelware garbage that’s capsizing the app store, that it’s hard to not advocate for it.  That’s not to say the game is perfect, because it’s far from even being great.  What that dollar gives you is a reasonable difficulty curve, normal cool-down periods, and completely optional in-app purchases.  This provides a game that helps kill time as you calmly wait in a doctors office before jamming the keys into the ignition to race back to work afterwards.

It's not beautiful, but there's a few surprises
It’s not beautiful, but it has a few surprises

Oh right, and it’s a tower defense.  No surprises, it’s simply one that’s better than most, but probably not better than Pixeljunk’s.

Review: 3 stars (out of 5)

Memory:  Turn the sound off

The Banner Saga Review

Title:  The Banner Saga
Maker:   Stoic
System: Mac
Cost: $25

A display piece

When you see screenshots of the Banner Saga it looks beautiful.  In motion, it doesn’t quite hold true.  This encapsulates most of the game- a series of ideas, all of which could be magnificent, but in reality never come together.  This feeling stretches throughout.  The caravan you drag along serves as nothing else but a glorified high score.  Combat is a cake walk until a massive difficulty spike at the end (hope you didn’t spread your levels).  “War” events don’t seem to serve a purpose, and new character development is heavy at the beginning and nearly non-existent by the end.

The-Banner-Saga

The game is the first of a trilogy, and it’s easy to use this as an excuse for lack of execution.  But anytime you pay $25 on Steam, you expect it to be self-contained.  As it stands it’s less than half-realized.  You could also make a case for the game being too short, but why fault a game for removing the padding?  The pace is brisk, with little fluff, and to it’s credit it’s easy to sink yourself in.

The story remains the high note, and the dialogue is decent but forgettable.  Much has been said about the moral ambiguity the game provides, and while it’s revolutionary next to the black and white morality of Shin Megami Tensei or Mass Effect, most of the time it feels arbituary.  You make a decision and just wait to year if the wheel stops in your favor.

In the end, it’s clear that what was written on white boards in development sessions became to much in execution, and needed to be paired back considerably.  A reduction isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it is when compromised versions of the original ideas are left in the game.

Review: 2 Stars (out of 5)

Memory:  The setting.  I want more games with Nordic influence.

Shin Megami Tensei 4 Review

Title:  Shin Megami Tensei 4
Maker:   Atlus
System: 3DS
Cost: $39

A pretty veneer for nonexistent changes

Tokyo is still huge, fucked up, and full of monsters
Tokyo is still huge, fucked up, and full of monsters

When I began “4”, it was my intention to see the latest Shin Megami Tensei through to the end.   And as I’ve come close to completing the game, again I find that my desire to see it through isn’t strong enough.  There are definite reasons for this: the characters exist only to serve as mirrors, and the difficulty curve that was captivating at the beginning, starts to fall apart mid-way through (especially if you put in extra time outside the main quest).  And yet, those problems exist in many great games.  So where does it really stumble?  And here again, it goes back to that simple A,B,C choice.  Technically, there are more than three endings, but in reality they all fall in the same Law, Neutral, and Chaos silos that have framed many (but not all) of the SMT games before it.  So as soon as you realize what path you’re on, the illusion disappears, and it becomes the same old grind.

Shin Megami

So where does that leave the game?  Well, it’s gorgeous (especially the dungeon perspective), it’s creative, it has a decent degree of freedom, and like most SMT games, it allows you the option to do as much or as little as you want.  It’s not a bad game by any means, and considering I spent over 30+ hours in the world, there must be something captivating.  However, this is not a side project, not a Persona game, but one of the “4” core games, and it deserves better.  The previous game in the main series was Nocturne, which came out nearly a decade ago, and from a technical level “4” is a strong improvement, but from a story and emotional level, it’s a rather large retrograde.

Review: 3 Stars (out of 5)

Memory:  The Hunter’s Bar background music

Thomas Was Alone Review

Title:  Thomas Was Alone
Maker:   Mike Bithell
System: Mac
Cost: Humble Indie Bundle 8

Feeling it for quadrilaterals

thomas was alone

I’ve been sitting on the Thomas Was Alone Review for awhile, because I’m not quite sure how I felt about the game.  Full disclosure: I read several reviews for TWA, and I remember everyone praising the music, the narrator, and the fact it brings personality to little colored rectangles.  And while that’s all true for awhile, pretty soon the narrator starts to grate ( I don’t know if you can call it self-importance, but he sure seems pretty proud of the job he’s doing), the music veers so hard into Explosions in the Sky that it’s shameless, and all you’re really left with from those first positive impressions, is the fact that you’re having feelings for these little rectangles.  But really, that’s quite an accomplishment.

Graphically it’s more than serviceable, because while it’s simple, it’s exactly what it needs to be, clean.  The platforming controls feel good, but the action itself isn’t all that satisfying.   Often the action breaks down into trial and error puzzle solving, instead of actual platforming.  However, this isn’t to take away what from what’s been created, as the platforming gracefully ties in the personalities and abilities of each specific block.  This gives more life to small quadrilaterals, than the characters that exist in games with budgets a hundred times larger.

Conclusion:  You have to pay tribute  for what’s been created.  Even if it’s not bringing gaming bliss, it’s laid out a pretty good road map for bringing any character to life.

Review: 3 Stars (Out of 5)

Memory:  The square that tries to drown herself

 

Joe Danger Touch Review

Title:  Joe Danger Touch
Maker:  Hello Games
System: iOS
Cost: Free for iTunes 5th Anniversary (Normally $2.99)

…Wait, what am I supposed to do again? 

Joe Danger Touch

The first thing I notice about Joe Danger is that the levels are perfectly short.  They tapped into the right attention spans for a mobile game.  The second thing I notice is that it’s boring.  Not as bad as some other iOS games I’ve been playing lately, but boring enough I wonder why this ever became a successful series.  Maybe it’s big brother counterparts do a better job of keeping you vested.

It’s not for lack of content.  For a mobile game this thing is pretty  huge, and trying to get perfect scores will require multiple replays.  But that’s the problem, monotonous memorization doesn’t make a game fun.  It rarely feels about execution.  Instead, you memorize the levels enough to mechanically swipe your way through.  There’s a point system here as well, but it’s buried deep.  I do hold out the faint hope that digging deep enough into the point system might make a rewarding experience in and of itself (like good ol’ Tony Hawk 2).

The best part of playing Joe Danger is that its micro levels make you wonder why no major publisher has done a Wario Ware ripoff for the iOS.  SquareEnix, you need some cash right?

Rating:  2 Stars (Out of 5)

Memory:  “Jooooe Danger!”

Peggle Review

Title:  Peggle
Maker:  Pop Cap
System: iOS
Cost: Free from App Store birthday

A name that’s the equivalent of not brushing your teeth

Yeah they also made PvZ somehow
Yeah they also made PvZ somehow

I knew nothing when i downloaded Peggle, but the first moments when you load the game, and that reassuring popcap logo comes up… ah yes, that’s a good sign. But all the good will from Plants vs Zombies can’t make me care about Peggle. A horribly drawn unicorn greets you, and as you advance through the levels more horribly drawn characters serve as your guide. Where’s the endearing art style? At least you could rest on that. But I can forgive generic graphics if the gameplay is captivating. The Xcom remake was pretty damn good despite it’s forgettable graphics. But this is where peggle stumbles. It’s not just generic, at best you can call it breakout mixed with patchinko, its just plain boring. I would stare at the icon on my phone, alone at an empty bus stop, but even then I could barely make myself open it. For a mobile app this is the kiss of death.

Rating:  1 Star (Out of 5)

Memory:  That fucking unicorn

Robot Unicorn Attack 2 Review

Title:  Robot Unicorn Attack 2
Maker:  Spiritonin Media Games
Publisher: Adult Swim
System: iOS
Cost: Free to Play

Everything Crystal

dash dash!

I still don’t fully understand why Adult Swim is publishing video games.  It’s cool, and I get that their target audience crosses over, but whenever I see it I’m always surprised that resources go to game publishing.  I remember the previews for the first RUA:  neon colors, intentionally ridiculous music, and still I never picked it up.  But on a whim I decided to download the sequel.  It’s a simple game but they make the smart decision to expand it by allowing you to unlock different play-styles as the game progresses. Graphically, it’s a combination of the minutely beautiful and broad ugliness, which really is very “Adult Swim”.  For a free to play its genuinely fun, even if another endless runner is redundant by this point in time.

Rating:  3 Stars (Out of 5)

Memory:  The theme song, of course